The evening started by warming up with Amazing Grace. We sang it over and over and I could have kept going. I just love that song. I was comfortable with it and I knew all its ups and downs. I may have been singing off key but I knew what was coming next! However, the group was practicing for a performance and so we moved on to a number of different songs none of which I knew. Each song that we worked on had easy parts and hard parts. The tiredness I was feeling seemed to increase with each section that I stumbled over. And my frustration grew. I got home thoroughly exhausted.
Isn’t it amazing how tiring learning something new is? How frustration seems to grow and anger creep in? Then there’s that feeling of heaviness that pervades your being when what you are doing feels difficult. It’s a feeling of having cement in the brain that seems to filter down through the body making thinking and movement really, really slow. But with each repetition, practice period, or new attempt it starts to get easier and lighter. With each mistake made is a lesson learned and a way not to do it next time. Before you know it the whole process is second nature!
Or not? I’m not sure that this choir is for me. A lot of the ladies seem to know how to read music and I don’t. Nor do I have a desire to start now. I just want to sing - badly, loudly, and off key when I’m in the mood. The whole part of preparing for a performance was painful to me. I want to use the expression ‘it felt like work’ except I like my work, so perhaps that’s how I know the choir is not for me.
When your time is limited it suits you to choose how you spend it wisely. Is the time spent in the activity passing quickly or do the difficult parts just get harder and more frustrating? Are you sticking with it because you grew up being told that’s how you do things? Let it go. It’s ok to say this idea, choir, or activity doesn't fit. Give it a fair try, yes, but you are allowed to say some version of, “It’s not what I thought it was going to be and I’m not enjoying it.” And then move on.
Imagine the relief that will flood your being when you are freed of that heavy cement holding you down. Imagine the new energies, ideas or people that will come into your presence. And then imagine how it will feel to love what you’re doing, even in the difficult parts.
Choose to soar because you can!